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Christine Hickey, Esq.   120 East Washington Street, Suite 711, Syracuse, New York 13202   (315) 422-9756

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CNY MEDIATION SERVICES, Inc.
Divorce Mediation, Syracuse, New York
120 East Washington Street, Suite 711
Syracuse, New York 13202
(315) 422-9756 Phone (315) 479-5651 Fax
mchickey@a-znet.com
Website by Cristin Manfredi and Content by Christine Hickey
Copyright 2016 cnymediationservices.com. All Rights Reserved.

There is No Normal Divorce 

One goal of this section was to catch your eye and to let you know there is no normal divorce.  How you and your spouse or partner work through the phases of separation and divorce is unique to you and your situation. 

There are some people who decide to stay separated for an extended period before divorcing.  In some of those cases, a Living Apart Agreement is mediated.  Living Apart Agreements can set forth your decisions about parental rights and responsibilities, the payment of expenses in both households, and other important issues during the interim between the physical separation and the legal separation and divorce. 

Others want to mediate the terms of their Separation Agreement as quickly as possible (often before they physically separate) and move toward divorce immediately thereafter.  In those cases, one of the most productive things to do is collect the documents required for the mediation process. 

Some mediations are completed in a matter of 2-3 (or less) sessions over a month or two, others may attend 6-8 (or more) mediation sessions over a number of years.  However most are completed within 6 months to a year of beginning the process.  You and your spouse or partner will greatly influence the speed at which the mediation is completed. 

In this website you will find common themes about the experience of separation and divorce, a few words of wisdom and a section on mental preparation.  Not everything listed here will apply to you.  However, there are enough commonalities in the experiences of people going through separation and divorce that the information on this website might be helpful for you to read.  This is an incredibly stressful time for people and it is good to know you are not alone and your experiences are completely normal.


Long Breaks Between Sessions  


Long delays between mediation sessions (months and years) are not unusual.  People are adjusting to their new circumstances (emotionally and financially) and do not have any pressing need to finalize their Agreement.  When one or both wishes to finalize the Agreement, or an issue arises in the interim, parties return to mediation to proceed.  
 
This is an acceptable way to use mediation.  The individual issues that could bring people into mediation are changes in income that require a change in how bills are paid, a child changing residence, or a child leaving for college.  When returning to mediation, the financial information (income and account balances for example) is updated depending upon the circumstances.


Extended Separation


It is not unusual in my experience for couples to be physically separated for a number of months or years before they begin the steps of reaching a legal Separation Agreement.  Usually these couples who no longer live together have managed to find a way to share the care and supervision of their children, and pay for ongoing expenses in both residences.


For any variety of reasons, eventually it is important to one or both of them to be legally separated, and divorced. These circumstances of extended physical separation can generate unique issues concerning the date of identification and valuation of marital assets and debts. As in all mediations about the equitable distribution of marital assets and debts, the couple will be discussing and deciding upon the dates for identifying and valuing assets and debts that will be distributed between them.